Emo • Ying

谁在说谎

2012-02-16T01:56:00.003+08:00

我的感情洁癖不允许我容忍一点点的背叛和谎言

有时候活着真辛苦

LMFAO Fever

2012-02-12T00:42:00.001+08:00

Yes, you're not mistaken. I BOUGHT LMFAO'S CONCERT TICKETS!!!!!!!!!! IM THE KING OF THE WORLD NOW AND NOTHING CAN UPSET ME!!!!

Super hyper. I kept my 2 precious tickets carefully, not even a scratch! Bought it yesterday (sat) at pyramid with 30% off. Or else it would be 200 bucks and Im seriously broke. Lol. Need to learn financial planning. Ahahaha.

BUT WHO CARES? I GOT MY F***ING TICKETS! #LIKEABOSS

And a big big big BIGGGGGGGGG thanks to RuiYang! My best jimui ever cause he's willing to pay 140 to accompany me to this crazy party. JIMUI LIKE THIS WHERE TO FIND?!! Muahahahaha. I will definitely repay you by shedding more tears when you depart to Australia. <333

Okay. That's all for this post. I just wanna express LMFAO's awesomeness and my happiness AND showing off. LOLLLLL. Please bear with me xD

Told ya my holiday couldn't be more awesome ;)

2012-02-11T02:38:00.003+08:00

I did my part I gave my answer.

I appreciate and at the same Im aware of my mistakes.

But from now on, I shall not bother.

Focus on my present is all I would do.

Move on, my friend.

Stronger everyday

2012-02-08T23:54:00.001+08:00

Stronger. :)

Sunshine after rain

2012-02-08T22:52:00.000+08:00

Konbanwa minna-san! :D Life has been great for me after crawling out from my despair. New people new experience and new surrounding excites me. I used to be a shy and scared little girl, afraid of changes and anything unfamiliar. Now? Bah. I just can't wait to enjoy more!

A picture of me and my beloved son dolphin. What a cutie... Love him like so so so so muchie! Too bad I have to leave him back in muar :( Just came back from my 4 days 3 nights muar trip on monday which is full of happiness. I love the bunch of new friends, the friendly aunty, the place, the food, the fun-fair *squeals* and everything. Definitely a second visit for me! And a special thanks to my 4 days' personal driver :P

I DON'T WANNA COME BACK SO BADLY LA :(

I've never enjoyed my holidays this much before. My past experience was all dull, bored, grow mushrooms and all unhappy stuffs I can think off -.- Pathetic. See how good changes could be. Cherish it!

Valentines Day is around the corner. I want to go for the valentines eve dinner gathering but it's so damn far! Why puchong?! Roar. Pity people like me who doesn't have a car. Im not allow to drive that far even tho I have one anyway... Lol. It's gonna be a busy week. Preparing surprises and hunting for jobs again. I NEED MONEY!!

Finally a joyful post for God knows how long! Ending my post with my precious <3

Life is short, so let’s break the rules. Forgive like we have amnesia, believe like a kid, love like crazy and laugh 'til we cry!

End of memories

2012-02-02T04:03:00.003+08:00

I miss my smile when I was with you :')
But it is time to move on and create new laughter.

I am strong and I am not alone.

Confessions

2012-01-28T03:59:00.005+08:00

And that is all I ask for.

Confessions and lessons learnt, to and from the people I know and met during December 2011 - Jan 2012.

Person #1
Thank you for being with me during the hard times. Thank you for showing me a brand new world and changed me. Thank you for all the memories. Thank you for all the feelings which Im not able to express thru words.
You're still the best thing I've ever had.. although I no longer can trust or open or my heart after the pain you left behind. Still.. you're everything I wish to hold on again. Always.

Person #2
Im sorry for the wrongs and scars I did to you. I still care, I do. But life goes on and I hope you would live your life without me. Thank you for accepting and forgiving every mistakes, even tho it hurts you like hell.
You taught me to rather be alone than hurt someone else with fake love. And that no one stays forever. Im independent enough now I believe. And thank you for all the love you gave me, I treasure them.

Person #3
A great friend. It's rare to find someone who can talk to you that much and bring you laughter every night.. I appreciate our friendship much. Im so sorry that things couldn't work out between us.
You taught me how fragile the word "love" can be. How easily people can give up on it. And how many lies can be told by using the name of it.

Person #4
You're smart, hardworking, have a bright future and a good job. I love to be with you, but too bad we are fated to be a short-term-passenger in each other's life. Frankly speaking, Im actually abit regret for letting you go. Hah.
At the same time.. it's once again proven that we never know what is hidden under a person's mask. Especially a gentleman like you. I shall be more aware of people around me from now on.

Person #5
Another decision I made.. And I hope this time it's a correct one.
Thank you for being the one who stayed until the very end. Despite the things I've done in the past that leave you nightmares..you chose to stay and waited for me.
Things will not be easy.. but I hope to walk to the path with you and solve everything together.
Thank you, for saving me, before I fell and betray my own self further..

But still.... Sigh. I have no idea what is wrong with me tonight. Time to sleep!

I am so afraid to rely on anyone again because I know things end and no one stays forever.

DEPRESS

2012-01-20T02:54:00.002+08:00

FUCK my life.

FUCK my results.

FUCK EVERYTHING.

Dusk to Dawn

2012-01-18T03:47:00.001+08:00

Flashbacks of you and I appeared quite often these days. Maybe it knew the ending has come, and is struggling to stop it. O'well, things always go emotional and nostalgic during late nights.

Was looking through the photos inside my hidden files. Again, reminding myself this would be the last time. Heh. Every piece of them is so beautiful and unforgettable.. Those days, those precious moments. Who wouldn't wish to travel back in time for them?

Let it go already. I have to. I WANT to.

I've neglected more than enough matter and I cannot bear to sacrifice anything any further. Life goes on. I ain't gonna wait and moan til the world ends. Hell no. Being a pathetic loser is the last thing I ever wanna become.

Play hard, smile hard while I can :)

Countdown-ing 2 days. Need to pay extra attention for the postman in order to grab my result slips before my parents do. My results are predictable..thanks to all the shits that happened at the "right" time. I admit I wanted a reason to blame on. But hey, the reason still takes half of the responsibility -.-

I will make sure I buckle up and work my ass hard for my second year. Ain't gonna let no shits affect my studies anymore. I FUCKING SWEAR IT.

Pray hard.

Life is like pictures. You can look back on the moments, but you can never recapture them.

這一刻安靜就好

2012-01-17T02:32:00.002+08:00

这一次你不要再回来了

我怕我会再度为了你伤害爱我的人

该放弃该忘记的爱情就让它消失吧

有你的回忆陪伴就够了

我们的爱情别再惊动它

最后一次，我爱你

One step forward.

2012-01-17T00:59:00.002+08:00

That's it.
Almost 2 years and I believe I've suffered enough from your games.
I am moving on.. And this time, I WILL DO IT.

Wishing upon a star

2012-01-14T01:40:00.000+08:00

Miserable. Lost. Fear. I can't find any better words to describe my feelings now. I thought I managed to run away from what I wanted to forget and started my so-called-wonderful-life. But here I am, back to the very starting point.

What do I want?
A question simple enough, but people have been using their whole life searching for the correct answer.

I thought I know what i want. Or maybe I was lying to myself just to cheer myself up when I have what I "wanted". And then I gave up on it easily realizing my heart was never there, hurting people who actually cared.

I am a selfish jerk.
Karma huh? Fate abandoned me once again and left me with tears. I don't deserve it after all and I have no idea why it affected me so much. Pfffft.

Seriously, what do I want?
And do I have the courage to chase after it even if it means hurting other people?

Im getting a fever. Rest for now ):

I try to think back to where it all went wrong, and now I remember it was when I first saw you and thought you could be the one.

Path of destruction

2012-01-04T02:10:00.003+08:00

Finally my first post for 2012! :) Unfortunately, it's not gonna be a good one. Just like how it goes for my new year and my latest life.

Should I blame it on freedom? Or the person who left?

Viewed back my previous posts. I said I was getting used to being alone, learning to let go and etc. Well I am. In a wrong way I guess. Maybe all I wanted was to run away from the memories or anything that could bring me back to what I was. I don't want to be that pathetic anymore.

Did anyone told me love games are addictive? I don't think so. Therefore I fall in it. A player. In a game. Or games. I enjoyed the companion and everything I gained from it. Even though there was never this thing called love to start from. Just to pretend that Im fine by giving out my own self.

What have I become? A question I've been asking myself every night ever since I started the games. A fallen angel? For lust, money, freedom, excitement? Hah. Can't believe I've turned into the kind of person I used to hate the most. What a disgrace.

Seriously, am I happy? Or am I just faking it?
But who cares? No one.

I wish you were here to save me.

my dearest :)

2011-12-22T23:30:00.000+08:00

HAPPY WINTER SOLSTICE!

Hope everyone has eaten their tang yuan already :)

Christmas is around the corner but too bad Im celebrating it in hometown..

Back from grandparents house and it's time to fulfill my promise! Hohoho.

Okay. 22nd December.

I hereby introduce you one of my dearest ♥

CHIANG-CHIANG-CHIANG-CHIANG!

Eeeee???

Say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to... her hand? O.O

To our main character JOLEE ♥♥

Bwahahaa i purposely choose this pic!

Retarded la you :P

I spent alot time searching for OUR pictures.

Unfortunately.. This is the ONLY PICTURE OF US!!

We look kinda noob... ><

And I used this picture as your birthday post last time.. Omg -___-

HARLOOO.

Time for outing and pictures please!

One of my dearests since primary school :)

女大十八变 now become a big lenglui jor~

We dun really stick together.

Not even while in PMO as we have our own friends.

But we are still close.

And Im very happy everytime you talk bout your problems to me.

Your sweet smile :D

No matter what happen and what decision you made

I will always support you as long as you're happy :)

And I bought pressie for you keke.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

I love you lots my dear ♥

Insomnia.

2011-12-14T03:46:00.002+08:00

It's almost 4 in the morning and Im still awake. Was exhausted after 2 days of shopping but I have no idea why I failed to close my eyes tonight.

I guess I cannot run anymore. I shall let myself emo for tonight :)

The sudden moments of sadness hurt you even more because you know you were happy just a little while ago.

Karma will get you bitches

2011-12-10T23:03:00.001+08:00

It's HOLIDAY. Which stands for FREEDOM. Ahahahaha. Plenty of time for me to complain and express now. Please bear with me :P

I was very unhappy ever since i saw things that i should not see. The method I used to discover it is kinda.... unethical. Ahem. But Im still glad that I found out bout it although it fucking hurts. Yea it does.

Now I see the connection. Now I understand why there's changes ever since THEY came into our life. I suspected that they were involved in this. But I'd never guess all of them would fucking crossed the line. Or there wasn't any 'line' at all cause the 6 of them don't even know how to read the word RESPECT, nor have the very basic sense of human morality.

C'mon. I've only met them officially for 2 times. I can count our conversations out with both hands. I've tried my best to like them or to mix in all because of someone. I never dislike or hate people whom I don't even know. Sometimes I may feel frustrated with them but i know the problem is between us. I would not blame it all on certain people. However, it seems like some brainless idiot love to judge and found interest in spoiling people's relationship. It's always the people who know the least bout you judge you the most.If they were trying to help things to get better i would be grateful and love them sincerely. BUT HELL NO.

Now I know why all those things are done, why things have to be kept in silence. I give him my sympathy but i pity myself more. Backstabbing couldn't be more scarier especially when those assholes are close to the one you love. And when those people are almost strangers to you! Fuck it! What can you say bout a stranger when you hardly know him/her? Seriously, I salute you guys. Sometimes being too nice is dangerous, you have to show your mean side once in a while to avoid getting hurt.

Phew. Feel so much better. I was really furious the minute I saw it and wished that they could all be sent to hell. But now I feel nothing already. Especially after blogging it out. I don't wanna ruin my holidays and energy hating people who don't even deserve to be hated. This is how it goes. I respect those who respect me. As for them.. I chose to remove them quietly from social networks and my life :) Everything is fine now and they do not need to know bout it. Peace!

Holidays huh? PARTY ROCK TIME! YEA BABY! ;D

If you hate someone, hate them. Just don't fake it while you're around them
At least I'm being real :)

2011-12-04T03:13:00.001+08:00

Ok fml.

Lemme take back what i said just now.

Temporarily.

always there.

2011-12-04T02:27:00.001+08:00

Whenever you feel like giving up, think of the reasons that kept you holding on for so long.

The only hope. The only bet i have.

Maybe i was wrong. Maybe all my thinking was wrong all this time. Maybe it was me who asked for too much. I should be grateful even though we are complicated. At least there is a something. At least i know you know the love is there. I should be grateful i still get to see you and everything that still lie between us.

Should stop complaining and learn to appreciate more. I am willing to do all these cause I love you. And it's wrong for me to expect anything from you.

What belongs to me will be mine eventually. But that doesn't mean I will just sit and wait for things to happen. I am just not that type of person. I will still do what i can and not give up. Shall leave no regrets behind.

The distance between us brought me more courage to chase after your steps. It made me stronger, and so is my love.

You know Im always there for you :)

I hate to imagine the day we look back and regret for the love we let go of. So i shall not let it happen.

you're everything i wanted

2011-12-03T03:07:00.001+08:00

And it says all.

:'(

My love wasn't strong enough to make you stay.

You seem good. Even if i would turn back one day, i will choose not to. The last thing i wanna do is to mess up your life again. You are better off without me. Take care and always be the happy fruit :')

siewlin boss! :D

2011-11-30T00:01:00.000+08:00

It's 30th November.. hmmm.. another usual day? WAIT!

Something special is gonna happen..

It's HER birthday!

WOAHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Ops.. wrong picture :P

Sorry for freaking you out. Ahahahahaha.

Here's a better one.

Remember this?

One of your most memorable and glory moment.

TADAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

Finally here's our birthday girl. As pretty as always (just kidding!). LOL.

You do look nice in it that's why i picked this picture.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY my dear :))

We're already friends for 20months! How time flies..

Imagine I've already been facing you almost everyday for THAT LONG..

I must be a superhero to survive that.

AHA. LOVE YOUUUUUUUUU! ♥♥♥

Our drawingggggsssss ♥♥

You're my first friend in sunway uni if im not mistaken.

We know each other since our first class in FIA. Econs class :))

That time you were soooooo SHY and CUTE. Awww... and LAME.

Since then we're always together.

Assignment groups, lunch, in class, study, hang out blablabla...

Salute myself for not getting bored of you. Keke. ♥♥

Still remember our 3 people gang? Junlin, you and I.

Everything was so perfect. How i miss that moment.. :\

Muahahaha. Our english debate! Our best presentation everrrrr!!

I wonder if Gwen still remember how i argued back with her during the debate :P

So much funnnnnnnnnnn.

TURN BACK TIME PLSSSSS.

I forgot which assignment group for this one..

Feel like editing the picture by drawing a big red circle to differentiate your face.. xD

See what dumb SiewLin did to our class. Naughty girl!!

Seriously, I can easily identify your drawing style.

The little humans under your pen look just like you. Don't deny it.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY once again :)

May your wishes come true and all the best in finals.

Don't forget to spare half of your luck to me. I need them. LOL.

LOVE YOU LOTS and thanks for being a great friend of mine!

You'll have to wait few more hours for your pressie. Keke.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

ILY :)

那些年

2011-11-27T00:45:00.001+08:00

而我的世界不过就是你的心

这一句，是真的。世界再大，也比不过你的那一颗心。

我很感恩，很幸运，能够遇见你。让我知道，原来我也能为了一个人疯狂的付出，原来这么认真地相信和爱一个人是这么一回事。

从来没试过，能看见一个人的出现而傻笑，认真地为未来努力，能够如此的忍耐一个人和包容，就算受伤还是愿意付出... 从来没这么傻过。过了这么久，看见你依然会让我心跳加速，生气委屈只要有你的笑一切都没事。

你让我变了，变了好多好多。

爱还在的，为什么不珍惜呢...

just a simple request

2011-11-24T00:07:00.001+08:00

And the feeling sucks to the max.

stay.

2011-11-23T23:09:00.001+08:00

I'm still loving you

2011-11-23T22:00:00.001+08:00

I have never been so disappointed with myself. I couldn't stop blaming myself for it. First time in my life i get marks this low and the only thing i wanna do is bang my head straight to the wall when i saw it. I CANNOT ACCEPT IT.

Moreover, a dumbass was pissed for dunno what fucking reason and starts ignoring me since last friday night. Threw my pride and apologize for nothing as usual but it doesn't change anything. I guess my dignity worth less than a cent to you after these 18months cause i always place you infront of it. You got so used to it cause you have a stupid mindset which tells you that i will stay. And it's fucking true. Screw it.

There goes my frustration level. Sigh.

This song makes me wanna cry.

"When I close my eyes I think of you

And the time we've had been through

Even though we're far apart right now

I remember back when you were here with me

How you've make my world complete

But now I'm left alone

We talked about love and hope

Wishing we could start a life our own

I wish that i could live without you

Why did you tear my heart apart

You said you'll love me from the start

All those painful things you've put me through

But I'm still loving you

I've tried to give my best to you

I don't deserve the things you do

Everything has gone to memories

I just wish I knew the truth behind the lies"

Where were you when I needed you the most?

I always tend to forget that you're not mine anymore.

are you still waiting?

2011-11-20T20:08:00.001+08:00

This song brings heartache.

Cause everytime it plays, it reminds me of you.

20.11

Do i still matter?

2011-11-14T01:34:00.001+08:00

Every night while facing the monitor screen alone, I will ask:

How are you? What are you doing right now? Do you still remember me? Am i still having a place somewhere there? Does my stuff still matters to you? And.. are you reading this right now..?

Expected answers will pop out inside my head after every questions, answering to myself on your behalf. Who am i dedicating these questions to? I don't know. Maybe.. some people who are important, some people who left my life, some people who are still around. Or maybe.. you?

I'm doing fine. Really, everything is alright. I'm just abit tired.. Which is a lie that always worked :)

One sad truth about ourselves is that we always know what’s right for others, while we don’t know what’s right for ourselves.

I am a mess.

You can ignore me for as long as you want, but you can never change the memories I brought to your life.

Not a tear.

2011-11-09T21:47:00.001+08:00

Imy and im not giving up :)

Regret is never my option :)

2011-11-09T21:36:00.000+08:00

It's a long night again. Assignments assignments AND assignments. Gosh. Hectic.. Super duper tired. Think it another way, a good thing actually.. To keep my thoughts away from unnecessary things :)

Which obviously failed. Lol.

Have been busying alone, eating alone, walking alone, playing alone and whatever stuffs i can think off. Can't imagine how i used to HATE being alone for so much, yet now im starting to fall in love with it. With the peace of mind i can have while wondering aimlessly with myself.

If i could choose, i would like to have a someone beside me still, just like how it was. But for the time being, lemme just stay like this for awhile.. It's never bad to have more things to appreciate, right?

I won't deny that i do feel lonely most of the times. Then i will start to take out my phone and spam anyone i can think off. I have this bad habit of disturbing people randomly. Haha. Well.. As long as im happy.

I learned a lot lately. I learned how to walk away, how to choose, how to deal with loneliness, how to let things be... And how to let go (still half way tho ;D). Let go of issues that make me unhappy, let go of the past that cannot be rewind, let go of the people who does not belong here... Most importantly, let myself go.

Still leaning kay? =.= The progress is less than 50% done but im trying seriously hard here. All the things above are almost IMPOSSIBLE for me and i must be crazy for trying to be a saint or what. But the changes are necessary for me to be happy.. So i have to deal with it. I must.

Oh well. My emotions changes all the time. Faster than you can ever imagine. So don't blame me when i totally forgot what i've said just now.

Blek. .

I am still waiting.. :)

I don't regret the things I've done. I regret the things I didn't do when I had a chance.

Strong girl.

2011-11-04T17:59:00.001+08:00

Everything will be alright tomorrow :)
*repeating and repeating*

Once again.

2011-11-04T17:30:00.002+08:00

I cannot cry. No matter what happen, how the ending is, i don't wanna cry anymore.

Is this right? I don't wanna know. Now is really me alone.

Those who said will love me forever were all gone. See? That's what i mean when i say promises are only words. A storm will blow away everything.

What's inside my heart actually? I know the answer. But im not gonna tell anyone. Mistakes are done and cannot be repent. I understand it well so i chose not to say a word. It's better to be cruel than hurt somebody for a long time.

Your love was fragile. Even though you may not admit it.

Sigh.
Im numb already. I can't feel a thing. Or maybe i was controlling my emotions. Fear that i would change my mind once i let myself break down. No.

I can't do a thing now.

So.. smile and move on :')

"Moving on" sounds easy but i have died a thousands times in pain, just to appreciate this phrase.

IWishForYou

2011-11-04T00:23:00.003+08:00

我们结婚咯
(Let's Get Married)

Still remember?
It may be a joke, but to me, it's everything.
My wish.

No matter who i end up with in future,
you will always be my dream.

Always.

天灰

2011-11-03T23:48:00.000+08:00

很多时候想要的真的不多
一个简单的问候
一封简单的简讯
一声简单的关心
足够让我微笑一整天
就算我们不再是对方的谁

那个人一直都是
我微笑的理由

从来不在别人面前绽放的微笑
只属于那个人的微笑
我留给他的微笑

:')

back to how it was, can we?

2011-10-26T15:34:00.004+08:00

But it's not gonna be okay anymore.
*deep breathe*

can never go back. can't we?

2011-10-26T15:09:00.002+08:00

Continue searching for the one who will see the true me inside.

the sweetest mistake

2011-10-26T14:48:00.003+08:00

My heart know what's going on. I can foresee the ending already. I wish i could scream out all the things i've hiding for so long and stop everything from ending.. But i had no courage.

Plans are ruined. Left with nothing. Again.. I already get used to it but that doesn't mean i feel nothing. You have no idea how many nights i cried for you, do you?

Since it's coming to the real end.. Some words are better left unsaid. Im happy actually. That you are having a good life. A better one. Without me. Both of you.

I shall continue my own journey again. With only me. Im strong enough don't worry. No matter how many tears i shed.. I will be back smiling again :')

Well.. maybe i will continue my walk after this break. *wink

Love? No, I prefer vodka ;)

Murderer

2011-10-17T21:38:00.001+08:00

I don't wanna do this anymore.

bleeding love

2011-10-17T20:19:00.001+08:00

The suicidal feeling is coming back.
And i have nowhere to run.

stronger.

2011-10-17T02:38:00.004+08:00

i cannot fall.

no one is there to catch me.

Everything is a lie.

2011-10-17T01:13:00.004+08:00

After 245 days, im still keeping them.. They're always the first thing that came into my eyes when i get up from my bed. Lovely, ain't them? :)

Should be studying for finance test, rushing my law assignments and doing uni stuffs now.. But i can't concentrate at all. Too many issues bugging me recently.. My mind is all corrupted.. So am I..

Living in lies. Knowing the truth will crept in and ruin my dreams any moment.. I have lost my mind. For choosing a hurtful ending instead of a bright one. Yes i know. Things will end one day. The one i wish for will leave me eventually. Everything is just a dream. For now..

But why am i holding on to it? Why am i handing the knife over to him knowing he will stab me through every sec? Because i rather die smiling than live painfully.

I miss my smile, my laughs and everything positive. I was lost. I couldn't see myself in the mirror when it was all gone. I told myself i will abandon everything if memories could be rewind. And i did it. Even if everything happening now is a lie, my happiness is a lie, our love is a lie.. It's okay.. I just can't bear the pain of losing the same person anymore. So i will do anything to hold on this time.. Til im all broken..

Im selfish. Maybe inside my head i already knew there will be someone always there for me, so i took them for granted. Tied them up in my own circle and i ran free. Returning to them whenever im wounded and desperate for care. What a bitch.

Guess it's best for me to have some sleep now. Leave behind everything for awhile.

There are things we dont want to happen but have to accept, things we dont want to know but have to learn, people we need but have to let go.

Can't even fake a smile.

i wish you know.

2011-10-10T18:11:00.001+08:00

Even if there's another guy who loves me like the way you did,
I will not love him the way i loved you.

how could you said those words?

2011-10-10T17:33:00.002+08:00

Maybe my heart already knew, but it's running from it. Running from everything that might make me taste the same pains, from things that might result in losing him again.

I am a fool. A dumb ass. But who doesn't when it comes to love?

No matter how many times the same person hurt you with words, with actions, but when you see him walking towards you.. you just can't help but smile. And then you fall in love over and over again. Forgiving every scars that was made.

I don't know. Maybe i chose a bad ending a bad story. Maybe in the end something worse is awaiting. But i just can't let it go. Not when i know it's everything i ever wanted in my life.

I sense sarcasm in your words and I couldn't help but show my emotions. It was hurtful enough. It was. To know that you don't stand a fucking place inside the life of a person that you cared most in the entire world.

Starting over was never an option. You never gave me that option to choose from. But im stupid enough to wait for a fairy tail to happen and to forgive every mistakes.

Sigh.

I wish i meant something to you.

:(

It's alright.

2011-10-05T22:58:00.004+08:00

Everything i wanna say is in here.

~~I will be fine.~~

I don't even know why i am crying.

yea, i know.

2011-09-30T00:58:00.000+08:00

curse those tears.

i wonder why.

2011-09-25T01:43:00.000+08:00

it was just like yesterday

2011-09-24T22:57:00.006+08:00

It aches. Alot. I have no idea how those player did it easily. Breaking hearts of people whom loved them with everything. It is hard. Very very very hard. And i can't believe im doing it right now.

I don't know. I was following my heart. I know what i wanted the most. It's wrong to stay and hurt him more. A decision i have to make. Which i hope it would never come. But we can never run from things forever. Sooner or later the truth must be told.

So im the bad guy now. Yea i am. But why am i crying like i was the one being hurt? Entirely my fault. Blame it on me. I deserve this heartache.

I swear this was not a part of my plan. Never. And i did not expect it to come. Everything i said during our moment was true. I cannot hide that. Damn. Playing the cruel part doesn't suit me at all. Hate to make choices. And i hate myself more for choosing this.

Stay happy. Take care. I will miss you.

always in each other's heart

2011-09-21T00:55:00.003+08:00

I saw it. Yes i saw it. Im not dreaming.
It's you. You posted on our blog. You did not forget about it.
Tears run down. But this time, is happiness.

Why haven't i realize earlier?
You're always there. Watching me. Always.
Thank you. For remembering everything. For me.

I shall give in a little hope that everything will be better :')

My 1st birthday wish: Hope my friend's bro will recover quickly.

We shall always stay in each other's heart, and that's enough.

Runaway

2011-09-20T23:20:00.003+08:00

I believe some moments, we pray for an escape. From a disaster, tragedies, complication, terrors and anything else that might tear us apart.

Yea. Im having this feeling now.

Thirty minutes before my 19th birthday. Yet, i don't feel anything. No excitement, no expectations, no nothing. I completely lose my interest towards anything and i just wanna be alone.

Has been going through some messy and terrible days. A person who should be gone came back and messed with my emotions, trust between people broke down, learning truths which i wish i never knew..

Why must everything crumble together at the same time?

I lost things which are very important to me. I can really felt my heart died and tears filling up once i realized all is gone. And im the one to be blame for. Now nothing's left. Im all empty and hurting another person who is loving me.

Honestly, i just wanna be alone. Alone in my own world. Have some peace. Calm my thoughts. Get away from unhappy stuffs. Let my imaginations run wild. Relax with some music. It's a simple wish but it can never came true.

Birthday wishes never came true. Never.

welcome home :)

2011-09-19T23:45:00.003+08:00

a new theme. a new start. a new style.
it just feels great to be back here again..
bloggy, im home :)

out of a sudden

2011-06-27T02:31:00.002+08:00

truth to be told

im not happy with my life.

not at all.

yeah i know.

i must focus on my assignments and exams.

there is a nice guy waiting for me.

friends are worrying bout me.

i must be strong and smile everyday.

i know i know i know.

but i can't believe im saying this now :

i still want u back so badly.

my phone died the other day.

and i couldn't hold myself and cried out loud.

cause i've lost my first and last memory of you

your messages.

life still goes on.

no matter how many times my heart is broken and hurt.

i am still alive.

i wish my memory wasn't that good

so i can easily forget everything bout u.

and move on happily with another person.

i miss you. deeply.

do you?

:'(

emotions crashed

2011-06-21T23:59:00.005+08:00

i wanna stop viewing your profile everyday

i wanna stop reading your messages

i wanna stop viewing your pictures

i wanna stop missing you

i just can't take it anymore..

someone teach me how to let go please :'(

twenty-first

2011-06-21T23:49:00.003+08:00

another 21st.

my favorite date used-to-be.

but now i hate it.

as much as i love it.

it's "our" day.

i wiped off my tear before it drops

then 2nd and 3rd and 4th tear came after the 1st

gahhhh.

can i stop being so weak and just forget him?

dammit.

i swear this will be the last time i cry for him.

but how many "last time" have i told myself?

;'(

emo 118

2011-06-20T01:54:00.002+08:00

where are words when i need them

2011-06-20T01:35:00.004+08:00

i remember i said:

- i found the right person whom made me smile
- i don't want a playback of a heartbreak
- if i let go i might regret cause he might be the one
- he is different
- believe once more.

but it ended. terribly.
once again, my heart is shattered to pieces.
back to the old days
where i picked them up myself
mend them
and tell myself to stop believing in any bullshits.

then only i realize i was walking in circles.

met a guy. got closer. promises and beliefs.
in a relationship. things went bad.
poof. broke up.

it's the same.
im walking in my old footsteps.
never learned my lessons do i?

but i wanted every relationship to be so badly.
naive.

i wanted to delete
every single messages and pictures of you
but i simply can't
cause i know my heart will be teared up if i do so

our movie tickets and card still in my purse
your presents are beside my bed
i am still the panda you used to called and loved
but we are not us anymore.

out of words to write anymore..
but there is so much in my heart..

i just don't know how to blog anymore.

i promised myself not to cry for him anymore.
i just broke my promise. hah.

where is my heart?

2011-06-20T01:25:00.003+08:00

i don't want to make myself look pathetic.
i don't need no sympathy from anyone.

so i have to repeat the same sentence to myself
again and again:
i am fine.

i have moved on.
ain't i?

then why are tears filling up my eyes when the songs played?

emo 117

2011-06-20T01:18:00.006+08:00

I will never regret you or say that I wish I'd never met you
because once upon a time
you were everything I needed

I rather die tomorrow,
than live a hundreds years without knowing you

emo 116

2011-06-19T03:01:00.001+08:00

I guess I just want to be a kid again.
I want to go back to believeng in everything and knowing nothing at all.

emo 115

2011-06-19T02:57:00.003+08:00

will i be okay if i keep telling myself i am fine?
:'(

2011-06-19T02:54:00.004+08:00

i feel so annoyed with myself.

something is wrong.

2011-06-19T02:32:00.003+08:00

it's almost 3am here.
all kinds of thoughts are running in my head now..

suddenly,
i just feel like crying
screaming
throwing things
and whatever that can make me feel better

i hate this feeling
im very stuck
i duno what to do
i duno what is right or wrong

maybe i shouldn't care bout what other people think
and do things i want to do as long as im happy
but i can't..

sometimes i wish
i can wipe out every single person around me
and start all over again
have a new life with new friends

sigh.

i can't even find words to express my feelings now..
dm shit..
i want back my blogging skills desperately..
everything appeared to be so wrong in a sudden..

where are my tears when i need them?
lol.
bad thing for being too strong :\

i wish i was a machine or robot..
with no worries and emotions.
what the hell is wrong with me? :(

如果我不是我　那该有多好　
如果我不会爱　那该有多好　

we were there. but not anymore.

2011-06-06T22:30:00.003+08:00

i should not be behaving like this.

not while mountains of works waiting to be done

damn.

i can't stop thinking.

1hr and 30min.

it's his birthday.

i was suppose to be planning surprises happily

wrapping up the presents and cards

we were suppose to be. smiling.

i don't know why.

why suddenly everything just came back to me.

i thought i already moved on.

i thought im living happily.

ain't i?

i was wrong.. i guess?

sigh. i don't know.

shoo. memories shoo.

i don't want swollen eyes for tomorrow :(

but i can't help it.

just one day.

to stop pretending and running.

it has been awhile since im back to my emo style.

welcome back ying =]

emo 114

2011-05-27T08:47:00.001+08:00

i missed you today.

just like how i did yesterday.

just like how i would tomorrow.

when can i stop pretending?

2011-05-21T23:57:00.002+08:00

was reading back my old post.

reading back the old days.

our days..

it's been more than a week.

time moves slow.. without you

i miss you. really. i do.

can someone tell me how much time would i need to get over this?

i hate my tears for falling while i was laughing.

it's tiring. it is.

to fake and pretend that im okay.

when im not.

im not.

not at all.

i know you're doing fine. or better.

it aches whenever i think bout this.

some people might say

i should be happy that he's living good now.

because i love him.

bullshit.

would you be happy if you're not the one who can make the person you love smile?

im sorry but im not that noble.

to forgive and accept every single shit that's happening.

i am just a normal girl.

i wanna hug someone and cry my eyes out.

but i can't even find that someone.

not even my closest friends.

i don't know why. don't ask me.

i just know i can't drop my tears infront them.

i don't know what the freaking reason is.

why is everyone keep telling me to stop emo stop thinking?

why is people assuming and deciding that i must be strong?

why can't someone just hug me and ask me to cry all i wan?

i was never a strong person.

never.

you saved me before.. but why are you letting me go now?

='[

520 :)

2011-05-20T01:25:00.002+08:00

20th May.

to everyone out there who needs love

520 :)

520 = wo ai ni = i love you.

missing you tonight. alone.

2011-05-19T01:24:00.003+08:00

i don't know why am i missing you so much tonight.

i tried to make myself happy this week.

i smiled i laughed i played i had fun.

but i can't get you out of my mind.

i should be happy that you chose what is best for you.

but why am i crying?

emo 113

2011-05-19T01:05:00.006+08:00

There's always that one person

no matter how long it's been or how badly they've treated you

if they say I love you

you will say it back

baby, i miss u
crazily, sadly, madly, deeply.

im staying as long as you're trying. but you left.

2011-05-19T00:38:00.004+08:00

i've got all the time i needed already.

i figured things out.

and yea.

the story ended.

i never planned this. i never did.

i don't even have the courage to think bout it.

but i knew deep inside my heart

it's gonna happen.

some day.

one day.

and here it is.

it has already been 1 week.

broken? yea i am.

sad? duh i do.

cried? of course.

in the end.

i never get the answers i wanted all these time.

and you just walked away and gave up on everything.

we tried so hard. don't you remember?

and just when things started to sort out

u abandoned all our efforts.

and left me tearing alone.

why can't i be the cruel one for once?

but even if i could. i would choose not to.

i rather hurt myself than break your heart.

i still care.

im still worried.

wondering whether you're late for class without my calls.

thinking what you might be doing this moment.

worrying that you might get hurt somewhere.

even tho i know

it's none of my business already.

i don't hate you.

i just simply can't.

i smiled more than teared whenever i think about you.

but it's over now.

i can't be stucking at the same point for the rest of life ain't i?

its time to lock you inside my heart.

continue my journey.

you can't stop me from loving you right?

so i guess it won't hurts to dream a little.

i dreamed that you were in my future.

if you miss me, you'll know where to find me.

ily. very much.

=']

lost in the middle of memories

2011-05-02T23:15:00.004+08:00

there are so many things i wanna tell

so many things i wanna blog it out

but i can't , right now, i don't know why

the slightest thought bout the worst outcome makes my tears drop

i just want everything to be alright. to be okay.

i never asked for more.

but why

why everything seems so hard?

i've been strong for too long

please allow me to show my true feelings now.

2011-04-14T22:50:00.002+08:00

i just need some time alone.

to figure things out.

yea.

that's all i need.

emo 112

2011-03-30T22:04:00.003+08:00

i know everything happens for a reason

but sometimes

i wish i knew what that reason was

random confessions

2011-03-19T04:32:00.005+08:00

i used to believe, no matter how hard it may be..
as long as there is that one person with me, everything will be fine.
and i am still believing it now.

could that one person be you? i wished so..

would you run the whole world to make me smile when i cry?
would you chase away everything that could hurt me?
would you abandon the whole world just to accompany me?

i can and i will.. but would you?
it's okay. promises are the last thing i need.

tho its impossible.. i still wish i could wake up in a fairy tale.
where my prince is always there to protect me,
where every person has a happy ending.

i never failed to loved people unconditionally
which hurts me more when things break down.
when every time i thought i will not love again..
i always met another whom i love more than the previous. funny.

do you believe in the end of the world? i do.
so i have the reason to do what i wish to..

if.. it is happening and we all died in the end.
if.. everyone has a soul and there is another world.
will you find me there? i can wait.. and this makes me unafraid of death.

you may think i am weak..
i am not independent, sensitive, mental, emotional.
but hey.. i can be stronger than you think.

i am weak because i am with you.
i am weak so that i can see you protect me.
i am weak so that you know i need you.
i am weak because you're the only person i wanna depend on.
i am weak so that you can be there for me.

but if you leave me..
i can show you the other side of me which you've never seen.
i will learn to live alone. i will forget you.
i will undo you. i can unlove you.

which i hope i will never do..
i would rather be weak for the rest of my life
than being strong by losing you.

have you counted the times i listened quietly?
have you seen how i leave aside everything just to catch you?

i may not be the type of good friend that you wanted..
but i know i will never reject your call.
never leave the spot so you know where to find me.

i do not trust people easily. i do not cherish and love people easily.
i do not take you as my friend easily. but i do already.

i hope you would love me too.
not because you need me. but because i am your friend.
because you will be there when i am the one who broke down.

i do not want to be known as some friend's girlfriend or a part time..
i just want to be ME in your heart.
i just wish to gain the place in your heart like how you've gained mine.

don't abandon me. don't hurt me.
all i want is to laugh together. all i want is be known as your friend.
even if one day i am no longer your friend's girlfriend.

and you guys. i love you too. love you as much as i hated you.
hated how i was forgotten in the past.
hated how i was being hurt by you.
hated how unfair i had been through.

no matter how time heals.. those scars will not disappear.
i cannot forget how it was. but i also remember how you loved me.

i tried hard just for you. i know you never see it but it's okay.
i know i am doing it and its enough.
i know you're trying to pay back the ones you owe me in the past.
i know.

i may not talk. i may not show. you may not know.
how much i care for you.
i will keep it to myself. thanks for giving me a home, my family.

hey girl. i understand. there is a part of you no one knows.
the deepest part in your memories. the past.

how people hurt you. and how you hurt yourself.
other people will not understand. why you're being so emotional.
why you're being hurt easily. why you wanted somethings so badly.
why you needed people to fill the hole desperately.

they need not know the reasons. we cannot erase it..
erase the phobia of it. nor erase the scar on your right wrist and legs.

keep hoping. for someone to accept you without asking you the reasons.
accept you without being impatient.
accept you by understanding the pains you've been bearing.

you will find that person. you will..

having someone on your mind? yea i know its him.
we hope it will be him. so smile. ying =]

i am a coward.
i run i hide i avoid i close my eyes when things are falling.
i am scared easily. i cry easily alone.

even so, will you say you need me? it is on the top of my wish list.
to be needed.

if you say your life will be incomplete and lost without me,
i will be the piece of puzzle that fits in and glued on it.
i can work hard like how i used to
when people laid their expectations on me.
past tense.

this is probably another side of me you never knew.
because i have not found the one who truly needs me.
probably i did. last time.
and i believe I've done my job before they left me.

i am a mirror. broken dozens. sticked back with scars.
imperfect and unusable.

will you still love me?

my family, my friends and my lover. will you?

exams

2011-03-01T15:07:00.001+08:00

oh well. wish me good luck in my finals!

and all the best to those who are having exams too =)

emo 111

2011-02-22T00:08:00.004+08:00

i can't remember

the number of nights i slept with my swollen eyes

where are u?

like you used to be when i fell..

baby, come back to me.

emo 110

2011-01-26T21:59:00.002+08:00

i don't want to lose a single thing i have now

not even one..

is holding each other hands enough for us to stay forever?

if it is

don't let me go..

things you never knew

2011-01-26T21:11:00.002+08:00

yesterday was no doubt, fun =D

i always wonder

i was annoyed

what's so interesting

that makes him love to be with them so much

now i understand.

it's like a drug.

addictive.

every moment.

i make assumptions on people before i get to know them

and then i was proved wrong.

many times.

i fall in love

with a bunch of people within a night ♥

it's like..

u do not need to speak a word

and u can feel the happiness

similar to another group of friends i met in college

while i look back on my high school classmates

i feel kinda.. pathetic.

2 years we were facing each other almost everyday

but we can't even share the same topic within

nor joke like how other people did.

how sad it is.

i am not blaming anyone for it.

i just hope for us to be like them..

thanks for letting me be with you guys.

and i want a next time =]

one more thing

i want my blogging skills back =(

my writings suck now..

emo 109

2011-01-25T03:06:00.004+08:00

if you ever feel like quitting

think of the reasons that kept you holding for so long

someone please give me the power to go on =(

emo♥ 108

2011-01-23T00:21:00.005+08:00

remember

someone out there loves you

including me ♥

one smile, everything changes =)

2011-01-23T00:12:00.003+08:00

my blog is DEAD. officially dead.

i feel so... AWKWARD to blog again..

i just can't find back the feelings i used to have anymore.

probably my life changed.

i changed.

am i still the emo ying?

i guess not..

i am a happier me now.

but

i can't write out things that touches my own heart anymore

sigh.

u lose something to get something.

that's life.

nah. i am not back to the turn-back-time-please stuffs again

i am satisfied now.

tho there are still things that could make me unhappy

it's okay.

i once said life ain't beautiful.

please let me take back my words

life is beautiful as long as u smile.

the only thing ugly in this world is human.

i will blog more often i promise.

smile people =)

dear jolee ♥

2010-12-22T00:23:00.002+08:00

boooo. my blog is officially dead. aikz.

nvm.

the main point is

this pretty girl over here!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY BELOVED DEAR!♥♥♥♥

purposely update this blog for u. haha!

have a blast and be happy always =)

emo 107

2010-11-22T22:21:00.003+08:00

i hate it when i said something

i did not meant to

but i hate it more

when you LIED.

emo 106

2010-11-21T13:01:00.003+08:00

i am tired of expecting

and being let down

disappointments are filling

til the day i leave.

emo 105

2010-11-20T23:37:00.005+08:00

i don't want a playback

of a heart break

and letting go of the things i loved

dream used to be

2010-11-20T23:16:00.003+08:00

i know i shouldn't

but i really

really really really miss those times alot.

they're gone. i know.

i am having my life now and i am doing fine

but when things went the wrong way

i tend to revise my memories. everytime.

things that we cannot own are the ones perfect.

oh well. that's what most people thinks.

i am no exception.

i once had a dream.

and i thought i will do no matter what to reach it

bad things do happened.

but i was happy.

i threw it away.

my own choice.

no. i ain't regretting.

i wish

to go back once

and complete what is undone.

it's too late =']

emo 104

2010-11-17T22:06:00.004+08:00

i wanna cry my eyes out

have my sweet dreams

wake up and pretend that it never happened.

it's like the love is gone
when we were just beside each other

i haven't felt so heart broken for some time

♥emo 103

2010-10-25T22:19:00.004+08:00

how many times have you touched my heart

fill me with tears hugged me tight

standing in front telling things will be fine

i am thankful. grateful.

and i love you just like you do.

emo 102

2010-10-14T22:15:00.002+08:00

i hate it when you don't get my feelings

it makes me disappointed.

it's october

2010-10-05T23:31:00.002+08:00

Just A Dream

I was thinking about her
Thinking bout me
Thinkin bout us (us)
What we gonna be?
Open my eyes, (Yeah)
it was only just a dream...

So I travel back (uh)
down that road (road)
Will she come back? (Uh)
No one knows
I realize (Yeah)
It was only just a dream.

I was at the top and now its like I'm in the basement
Number 1 spot, Now she find her a replacement
I swear now I can't take it
Knowing somebody's got my baby

Now you ain't around, baby I can't think
I shoulda put it down, shoulda got that ring
Cuz I can still feel it in the air
See her pretty face, run my fingers through her hair

My lover, my life, My shawty, my wife
She left me, Im tied.
Cuz I knew that it just ain't right

I was thinking about her
Thinking bout me
Thinkin bout us (us)
What we gonna be?
Open my eyes, (Yeah)
it was only just a dream...

So I travel back (Uh)
Down that road (Yeah)
Will she come back? (back)
No one knows
I realize (Yeah)
It was only just a dream.

When I be ridin
man I swear I see your face at every turn
trying to get my usher on but I can't let it burn
And I just hope that she notice she the only one I yearn for
No more will I be missing, will I learn?

Didn't give her all my love
I guess now I got my payback
Now im in the club thinking all about my baby
HEY, she was so easy to love
But wait, I guess that love wasn't enough
I'm going through it everytime that I'm alone
Now I'm wishing she would pick up the phone
But she made a decision that she wanted to move on
Cause I was wrong.

I was thinking about her
Thinking bout me
Thinkin bout us (us)
What we gonna be?
Open my eyes, (Yeah)
it was only just a dream...

So I travel back (Uh)
Down that road (road)
Will she come back? (back)
No one knows
I realize (Yeah)
It was only just a dream...

If you ever loved somebody put your hands up
If you ever loved somebody put your hands up
Now they're gone and you wish you could give them everything

I was thinking about her
Thinking bout me
Thinkin bout us (us)
What we gonna be?
Open my eyes, (Yeah)
it was only just a dream...

So I travel back (Uh)
Down that road (road)
Will she come back? (back)
No one knows
I realize (Yeah)
It was only just a dream...

it's october.
and i can feel memories are haunting
at places where they shouldn't be.

emo 101

2010-10-03T00:27:00.004+08:00

even tho it ended long ago
still
i want you as my best friend
so i could keep you forever
and you would never forget me
but i can never be.

lame present

2010-09-29T22:01:00.008+08:00

omg.

there's 2 more week until final exams..erm..no..

HOLIDAYSSSSSS?!

woaaahhhh

time flies!

p.s.: ONLY holidays in my mind. haha

this a lame post dedicated to an EVIL friend of mine!

kekekekeke

let's start with the story:

yes it's a present. my birthday present.

it's rectangle and heavy and wrapped up with cute present paper.
and ALOT of salaphone tapes.
i was too kind to tear the paper so i opened it gently ~

it's opened! A SHOE BOX! O.O

ALOT of salaphone tapes again. grr.

it's written there:

I'M GONNA *CARD* THIS PRESENT. ngeh ngeh ngeh

the present itself looks evil. LOL

took down the card~ now it wrote there:
I'M GONNA MAKE YOUR LIFE MISERABLE FOR THIS PRESENT
O.O! i was starting to suspect that this box is empty...

let's open it....

OH WAIT! i forgot bout the card!
oh yes the big scary fish look just like YOU!
trying to eat that pity little piggy.. and HEY!
she says SHE LOVES ME! HAHA!

OMG. hell lots of newsaper!
if it's really empty inside i am so gonna be miserable for my life..
look!
i think i just saw something within the sea of newspapers!
talll.... and round..... and...

TADAAAAAAA!
A BLUE WATER BOTTLE
it's soooooooo pretty!
my favorite color^^
thanks my evil + lame friend
you made me miserable for few minutes
for worrying it was empty.
HAHAHAHAHAHA.
LOVE YOU =D

rainbows in my life

2010-09-22T23:37:00.005+08:00

i had the most awesome birthday ever on 21st x)

the tiramisu cake was great

the presents and cards were sweet

the surprises made me laugh whole day like nobody's business

everything was just so right that day!

thanks everyone for making my 18th a memorable one ♥

and of cause

thank you my dear for planning all these

i really really appreciate and love it =)

days are getting abit stressful

as im not doing that well in my studies for semester 2

i have no idea where my motivations disappeared to

but still, will do my best

my friends said

i chose the right guy

because i have my smile everday on my face

unlike the moody me in the past

this is why i dun really blog anymore.

how sad. aikz!

just a short update to rub off some dust

sleepy ying is too tired to think LOL

smile, world ♥

emo 100

2010-09-10T14:56:00.001+08:00

maybe it's time for girls

to STOP believing that

guys would change

congratz on 100th emo post ^^

emo 99

2010-09-03T00:42:00.004+08:00

爱情哪里出错了

坦白为什么会是这么难

隐藏则成了理所当然

曾经说过的话不见了

说过会给的努力呢

你其实有点变了

我也变了

我只想问我们怎么了

i need motivations

2010-08-31T21:13:00.002+08:00

i miss you ♥

i've got NO study mood at all =(

can someone make me study please?

sigh.

everything goes wrong in my studies in semester 2

i wonder WHY.

p.s. i saw his brother today. AWWWW ♥ words can't describe my feeling!

look down on YOU

2010-08-25T23:53:00.003+08:00

i was thinking back bout the maths topic test i had

a very bad experience indeed

despite i wasn't that prepared for the paper ( but still ok la )

the main point was

PEOPLE'S ATTITUDE.

its a test right?

even though it's sort of an "assignment" thing

it's still a test.

i believe i am in a college

no longer days in high school.

but then

why are SOME people their attitude are even worse than high school's?

while the paper was ending

maybe in a few ten minutes

there were HELL LOTS of noises

*especially behind me

i even heard someone in front said

" hey, this is pasar ar? "

damn freaking agreed with it

that's not the worst part yet

while the papers were being collected

that particular someone ask for help in a very loud voice

" WANT COLLECT EDI FASTER GIVE ME COPY LA"

some more in a frustrated tone

as if it's another person's job to lend her copy

What The Fuck?

What the shit was that?

and teachers.

you all are not DEAVES la come on!

and you all just fucking ignored it

then why don't you change it to a "copy test" instead?!

this kind of thing happened in semester one too

but it seems like people are getting braver nowadays

in a negative way

* you may know who that particular person was or may not.

she's even thick-faced enough to grab HIS paper

and tend to compare their answers

ADDING OIL ON FIRE you know what that means right?

it totally freaked me out

the only thing which comforts me is

i know they will NEVER EVER get my marks

no matter how hard they copied. HAH.

there is NO WAY i will let that kind of people

to be even one step ahead of me

DEFINITELY NOT.

If you ain't gonna work fair and square,

you shall never get the equality.

i am hot-tempered and what-so-ever

so if you get offended or pissed

alt+F4 will do.

i feel sooooooooooooooo good after blogging x)

so what?

2010-08-18T22:03:00.001+08:00

sometimes

people are just way too smart to care

whether you shut your mouth or not

it's okay.

my results will show them everything

they need to know.

enough said.

new loves ♥

2010-08-15T20:59:00.002+08:00

heyyyy

i am back with my NEW LOVER!

let me introduce you..............................

CHIANG CHIANG CHIANG CHIANG~!!

♥ ♥ ♥ 100 YEN ICE ♥ ♥ ♥

the picture above is the milk flavor + chocolate.

100% YUMMY ♥

of course there are still some other flavors for you to choose

I JUST CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT CHA ♥ ~

the tastiest ice i've ever tasted!!

it really melts my hearts.. awww... i love you ♥

i feel like eating the picture aikz!

you really need to try this out!

guarantee to melt your heart away ^^

emo 98

2010-08-06T01:24:00.003+08:00

we thought

the world is big

'cause there are many types of people

but i know, it's small

'cause i met you

6 months away from you

2010-08-01T02:21:00.004+08:00

just realized, it's already 6 months.

never wanted to remember it purposely

something just flashed through my mind

and tells me " it's today. "

so, yea. it's already half year

since you walked away from my life

the dates are still inside my mind

how i wish i could throw them away

and forget those unnecessary things

no. i am not sad or tearing because of you

not anymore.

i just remembered. that's all.

I've already got him ♥

it just shows how important things were to me

that they can never be replaced

and taught me to appreciate more

something i regretted for not doing it before

i still have questions that need answers

yet i know i can never get them

answers can't change my memories

i will continue believe what i've believed

what i am holding now is the best =)

still, 6 months.

i hope you're doing well. and i know you do.

sometimes, i miss you.

emo 97

2010-07-21T22:30:00.003+08:00

we've gone far enough

but everytime i saw your words

somewhere behind

something is breaking

don't deny our love

you and i

it WAS there

it was..

emo 96

2010-07-21T22:20:00.002+08:00

did i ever mention, i am glad that you came in?

thanks for making things colourful again

time is short and there is always an ending

steps taken will be painful again

i don't know when

but that day is there

this time, i won't pick up hatred no more

for the things that you gave

sometimes, i hate future.

hey, i need you, do you?

i see the rainbow =]

2010-07-17T22:54:00.004+08:00

was at pyramid having my free lunch - secret recipe ♥

today is a happy day. yea it is

even tho

some memory flash through my mind

on every single corner

i still smiled =)

they are no more than a memory

i finally am able to keep the sweet ones

and let go of the bad ones

i don't know if the same thing would happen again

at least for now

i wanna stay happy

with him

with them

with everyone

my new life is getting better and better

but i still miss the old times old friends

i may seem cold and isolated

the truth is i miss every one of you

but i wonder how many knows

loves =]